Building Bridges, Not Walls

Challenge of pursuing a new career with traditional family expectations.

This is a story about me and my friends. We come from small rural areas, not the big cities you always hear about. Our story is different, but it's one that many young people like us are living every day.

Growing up, we saw a world our parents never knew. Thanks to their hard work and sacrifices, we got access to education and the internet. They laid the foundation, and we built upon it, discovering new ideas and opportunities. But ironically, this very progress has created a gap between us and our elders, especially when it comes to our future.

When Dreams Collide with Tradition

Many of us have found passions our parents don't understand. Some want to work in startups, and others in fields like acting, design, or sports. These aren't the typical jobs our parents know.

Our parents and relatives have a fixed idea of success. They push us towards big, well-known companies. For them, a job in places like TCS or Infosys means we've made it. It's what they understand and trust.

Explaining our career choices to our families is hard. When we talk about our dreams, we often see worry in their eyes. They fear we'll struggle or lose respect in the community.

Stories from Friends

Take my friend Prakash. He's passionate about Wedding Photography. When he told his family, they struggled to understand what the job entails. They couldn't grasp that Wedding Photography can be a well-paying job with growth opportunities. In their minds, it's just someone with a camera at events. They don't see the artistry, the business skills needed, or the potential for a successful career. Prakash finds it hard to explain how different modern wedding photography is from the traditional version they know.

But it's not just about photography. Many of my friends face similar challenges with other career choices:

• Arjun dreams of becoming a professional cricketer, but his family sees sports as just a hobby, not a serious career.

• Priya is talented in graphic design, yet her parents can't understand how "drawing on computers" can be a stable job.

These are all respectable career paths with potential for success, but they're often misunderstood in our communities. Our families struggle to see how these modern jobs can provide the stability and respect they want for us.

Balancing Act: Dreams vs. Reality

We want to follow our dreams, but we also need to support our families. It's a tough balance. Sometimes, we have to choose between what we love and what pays the bills.

What makes it even harder is that we're still figuring things out ourselves. It's challenging to create stability in what we're interested in because we're in the stage of exploration and discovery. And you know what? That's okay.

It's normal to be uncertain and to take time to find our path. We're learning about ourselves, our interests, and the ever-changing job market all at once. This uncertainty can be scary for us and our families, but it's a necessary part of growth.

We want to explore new opportunities and follow our interests, even if we're not entirely sure where they'll lead. Our parents want us to be secure and successful in ways they understand, which often means stable, traditional jobs.

This gap causes stress for everyone:

• We feel misunderstood and pressured.

• Our parents feel confused and worried about our future.

Building Bridges, Not Walls

I don't have all the answers, but talking about this problem is a start. We need to find ways to bridge this gap. Both we and our elders need to listen and try to understand each other better.

The best thing we can do is sit down and explain things in a language our elders understand. This means:

• Using examples they can relate to

• Explaining new concepts in terms of old, familiar ones

• Being patient and willing to repeat ourselves

• Showing how our choices can lead to stability and success

It's not always easy, but it's worth the effort. When we take the time to communicate clearly, we have a better chance of gaining their support and understanding.

There's no one right path to success. The challenge is finding a way to chase our dreams while respecting our roots and family needs. By improving how we communicate with our elders, we can start to build a bridge between their world and ours.

Acknowledging Fears

A fellow reader shared an important perspective on building bridges with our elders:

Genuinely acknowledging our elders' fears is crucial in bridging the generational gap. The financial instability they worry about is a very real possibility. There's a high probability that we might fail in our new career paths, and our elders' concerns may well be justified. It's important to show them that we understand these risks and are prepared to accept the consequences of our actions.

We can't avoid the "I told you so" experts. While there's often a part of us that wants to prove the naysayers wrong, we need to be careful not to let this desire derail us from our original purpose. Much of our anxiety stems from knowing that the "I told you so" moment could indeed come true.

Acknowledging the possibility of failure and being at peace with it can be tremendously helpful. This doesn't mean ignoring the risks, but rather accepting them as part of our journey. By demonstrating that we've thought through these possibilities, we show maturity and responsibility. This approach isn't about rebelling or proving our elders wrong, but about making informed choices and being prepared for various outcomes.

This mindset can help ease our elders' fears and open up more constructive conversations about our future. It's about finding a balance between pursuing our dreams and respecting the wisdom and concerns of those who came before us.

A Work in Progress

To be honest, this is something I'm still struggling with myself. It's not easy, and I've made many mistakes along the way. There have been times when I've lost my temper or shown my frustration, but I've learned that anger doesn't help either side.

Every day, I'm trying to find the right words and examples to help my family understand. It's a constant effort to explain my choices and dreams in a way that makes sense to them. But I believe it's worth it. After all, we're all in this together, trying to build a future that honors both our dreams and our roots.

So, if you're going through this too, know that you're not alone. We're all figuring it out, one conversation at a time. Let's keep trying, keep explaining, and stay patient with ourselves and our families. Hopefully, we'll get there. Remember, it's okay to make mistakes – what's important is that we keep trying to bridge the gap :)